On a larger level, your partner shouldn’t stand for racism, period. On a caring, loving level, he certainly shouldn’t be silent about anyone being racist to you or in your presence. That’s not because he needs to protect you but because he loves you. Being Iraqi is a beautiful part of who you are. It should be something your partner cherishes—at least enough to say “knock it off” to his friends. Your partner sees his newsfeed and sees you having to fight these people. And judging from your letter, he hasn’t been stepping up. That’s a problem. If you’re wondering why he has racist friends, it’s because he wants them.
Sociologists use the term “androcentrism” to refer to a new kind of sexism, one that replaces the favoring of men over women with the favoring of masculinity over femininity. According to the rules of androcentrism, men and women alike are rewarded, but only insofar as they are masculine (e.g., they play sports, drink whiskey, and are lawyers or surgeons w00t!). Meanwhile, men are punished for doing femininity and women… well, women are required to do femininity and simultaneously punished for it.
Androcentrism: It’s Okay to Be a Boy, but Being a Girl… » Sociological Images
I think the ‘women are required to do femininity and simultaneously punished for it’ bit sums up 90% of sexism in one sentence.
i don’t really agree women are rewarded for being masculine though
women are not rewarded if they wear butch clothes, get a masculine hair cut, or have masculine mannerisms - and since when are women rewarded for entering male dominated fields? how is constant sexual harassment and exclusion and discrimination a reward? studies have shown women face extreme levels of misogyny and bullying in male-dominated fields
even when it comes to be assertive, aggressive, etc women often get punished for that - only in some contexts will that help you